Monday, March 8, 2010


I know some of you may have thought I dropped off the face of the earth, but I'm here. Living life, but just not blogging about it. More on what I've been up to later on in the week.

Today, I feel like sharing a few random Monday musings.

7:20 a.m.
I ran out of paper today at work.
I was in the middle of a copy job before school when the copy machine abruptly stopped.
I thought, Oh, the machine must have jammed.

Nope, I wasn't so lucky.

I checked the electronic copy counter. It said, "at limit."
I sarcastically chuckled and thought, Yep, I'm at my limit alright!

I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised. My colleagues have been talking about running out of paper for a few weeks now. I guess I just figured that since I bought a case of paper at Costco a few months back, I would be safe for awhile.

But seeing as the counter has always counted UP instead of DOWN (counting down would be way too logical!), the only way to know how many more copies you have is to keep track of how many you've used and how much paper you have given to the secretaries.

Oh, and don't even get me started on how the copy machine charges you two copies for each double-sided copy you make, even though you are only using one piece of paper. Guess who's been making a lot of single-sided copies lately?!

But I digress...

Thankfully, fourth graders can create their own reading logs (instead of filling in the copied version) and write down their weekly spelling words on binder paper.

And Staples stepped up in a big way. They are offering reams of paper for just $1 right now. (It's a God-incidence, I tell you!) What's the catch? Well, you have to pay $5.99 initially, but you receive a rebate of $4.99 in the mail within 4-6 weeks.

Oh, and you can only buy two reams.

But two reams is certainly better than none.

3:00 p.m.
The kids left at 2:00 p.m. and I thought, Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to the optometrist I go!

I get bored easily during my annual eye exams. Well, maybe restless is a better word. Because I've been going every year since I was 16, I know the drill. I know the exam is going to take at least an hour. Maybe more.

Today, I was laughing inside as the optometrist was trying to find my prescription by flipping the lenses in the phoropter in front of my eyes. (Just keeping it real: I had no idea what that lens thingy was called. Thank goodness for Google!)

Here's how it went:

O: Tell me which is clearer--1 or 2?

J: 1 is better.

O: Which is clearer? 2 or 3.

J: 3.

O: Which is clearer? 1 or 3.

J: 3.

This little drill continued to 3 or 4 and 5 or 7 and 3 or 5.


Then, he switched to the other eye.

A Reader's Digest version of the same charade ensued with both eyes.

The irony of it all is that not five minutes later, the doctor had me take a quick 30-second test. I haven't the foggiest idea what it was called, but I just quickly looked into the machine at a red barn--which went in and out of focus--and voila, I was done.

I asked the optometrist what the machine was checking for, and he said, "It basically does what I just did in the room--checking for your prescription--but it's a lot faster than me."

J: You can probably guess what I was thinking...something sarcastic and not particularly Christian-like...but I said, "Oh, wow. Isn't technology great?"

Next, I was off to the infamous glaucoma test.

You know, the dreaded puffs of air.

All I could think was, "Whatever you do, don't blink!"

I know that if I blink, I'll have to do it again. Ha-ha!

Then, I jumped over to the next machine and took the visual field test.

It's my favorite.
Because with the remote in hand, I feel like I'm playing a video game.

And the exam would not be complete without dilating my eyes.

I don't know about you, but it's always a little weird to see my pupils so large.

I feel a little like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland.

Afterward, I suffered from the normal aversion to light.

Which is why I ate my spaghetti and salad at the dining room table in the dark.

To more sarcasm-inducing life adventures,


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